There was lesbian mess aplenty on the final season of Queer Ultimatum, and I grew to become hooked on the purpose that I nonetheless comply with a number of of the principals on Instagram. (Guys, Aussie and Sam are nonetheless collectively, I believe! And Rae and Lexi each have new companions, which rocks as a result of they have been…ill-suited!) Season two, although, makes the final seem like a very well mannered episode of The Nice British Bake Off, with intercourse, lies, drama, and allegations of Spotify-cheating abounding from each path. What’s Spotify-cheating, you ask? I wouldn’t wish to give away too a lot, however simply know that it is best to all the time make your Spotify playlists personal, particularly in case you share an account along with your ex and also you’re holed up along with your new “trial spouse,” cooking truffle-infused meals and listening to alleged intercourse music.
As a queer individual myself, I completely get the enchantment of being round a bunch of different queer individuals—with no straights in sight—for nearly two months, and I all the time assume the forged members seem like they’re having essentially the most enjoyable on the present’s outset, when everyone seems to be simply cruising and flirting and guffawing in beachwear. One factor I merely don’t perceive, although, is why a pair that appears to be suitable and fairly comfortable—like season two’s Bridget and Kyle—would signal as much as go on a present that’s mainly the fact equal of U-Hauling with somebody you met at Woods Wednesdays for 3 weeks straight, solely to appreciate that you just don’t even have as a lot in frequent as you thought you probably did over margaritas and delicate vape drags.
After all, there are some Queer Ultimatum {couples} who genuinely appeared to develop into their relationship on the present, like Britney and A.J., and a few who most likely by no means ought to have dated within the first place (Ashley and Marita seem to be a traditional case of “We’re from an space with a fairly small queer neighborhood and everybody threw us collectively as a result of we’re each homosexual”), however as somebody in what I’d wish to assume is a wholesome and non-codependent queer relationship, these “this and by no means happening Queer Ultimatum” memes are very actual.
Clearly, no one’s going to drive me and my accomplice to look on a Netflix actuality present, however even the thought of watching the love of my life actually hand-select somebody new from a small cluster of queers to play home with for the subsequent three weeks sends a frisson of concern down my backbone. Does this imply I’m not as emotionally advanced because the individuals on Queer Ultimatum, or simply that Queer Ultimatum is essentially the most chaotic queer actuality present there has ever been? Both approach, somebody greenlight season three stat, and possibly throw in a masc-for-masc couple when you’re at it!
